


Harvey Specter believes in Soulmates

by yoursuntilmydyingday



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-26 12:29:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3851005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yoursuntilmydyingday/pseuds/yoursuntilmydyingday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harvey Specter believes in soulmates. Not in a stupid way, where people would just accidentally end up together and live happily ever after. That would be complete bullshit, and he knows it. No, finding and loving your soulmate isn’t easy. It is very challenging, and it required a lot more effort than you would assume.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Harvey Specter believes in Soulmates

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic on Archiveofourown, so don't expect too much. Based on this prompt: "What am I without you?" "Better" by http://putthepromptsonpaper.tumblr.com/
> 
> \--
> 
> It's a lot of angst and hurt and no comfort. I hope you'll enjoy!

Harvey Specter believes in soulmates. Not in a stupid way, where people would just accidentally end up together and live happily ever after. That would be complete bullshit, and he knows it. No, finding and loving your soulmate isn’t easy. It is very challenging, and it required a lot more effort than you would assume.

A soulmate is someone who connects with your soul, someone who understands you better than you understand yourself. It’s someone who storms into your life with a lot of noise, someone who makes you question everything and everyone around you, someone who confuses you and makes you understand at the same time. Meeting that person will feel like something between ‘there you are’ and ‘where have you been’ and ‘god, please never leave again’.

After living your entire life desperately trying to protect your heart from getting broken, it’s not easy to let someone in. But Mike had found a way, taking down the thick walls Harvey had build around his heart. With every brick Mike took, Harvey fell harder and more for his associate. There was no way back, there never was.

Until tonight.

Donna had left him, and Harvey knew he only had himself to blame. For years he’d taken her for granted, never telling her how grateful he was to have her in his life. Louis, that snake, had used Norma’s death and Harvey’s lack of – showing – emotions to talk Donna into becoming his secretary. Just thinking about Donna working for Louis made Harvey sick. He had to get her back, and he was willing to do anything to make that happen. He was the best goddamn closer in New York City; nothing was impossible for him.

On the way home he tried to think of a way he could make it up to Donna. First; apologizing for his behavior and telling her exactly how much she meant to him. Second; flowers, dinner, a new bag, letting her stay at his condo, giving her a raise. Third; put Louis in his place and make sure he wouldn’t ever think about screwing him over again.

It almost felt like the title of a self help book: How to win back your secretary from your hairy colleague in three easy steps.

After thanking Ray and greeting the doorman, the elevator quickly took him up to his apartment. When he entered his bedroom, throwing his jacked on his bed and undoing the buttons of his vest, the fatigue suddenly hit him in the face with a devastating right uppercut. The short nights, long days and all those damned emotions were finally taking a toll on his body.

Just as he decided to take a quick shower, he heard someone enter the apartment.

Mike.

He didn’t even bother to button up his shirt as he walked back towards the living room. All he wanted was Mike telling him it was going to be okay and kissing away the pain that kept growing inside Harvey’s chest with every breath he took. He needed Mike to tell him that he was never going to leave him, that nothing could ever make him stop loving Harvey.

He just needed Mike, now more than ever.

“Thank God, you’re here.” Before Mike could say anything, Harvey threw his arms around the younger man’s body. He buried his face into Mike’s hair, taking in his scent and planting kisses all over the side of his head.

It didn’t take long before his mouth found Mike’s, capturing his bottom lip with a sigh. His hands were on Mike’s back and shoulders and neck, trying to hold onto something, convincing himself Mike was going to make everything okay again.

It was Mike who broke the kiss, placing his hands firmly on Harvey’s chest, slowly pushing him away. Harvey grunted quietly as he felt the pain in his chest return. When he noticed Mike wasn’t looking at him, the pain started to spread across his entire body, making him sick to his stomach.

“Mike?” he asked, taking the younger man’s face in his hands, forcing Mike to look at him.

“Mike, what’s wrong?” Why wouldn’t he look at Harvey? Had he done something wrong? Was this about Donna? Did something happen when he was with Rachel?

Harvey tried to think of all the possible reasons why Mike wasn’t looking at him., but the actual reason Mike was avoiding his eyes so desperately was the one thing Harvey never imagined having to think of.

Mike stepped away from Harvey, creating distance. Harvey’s hands were still lingering in mid-air, not really sure if he should let Mike go or not. He watched Mike open his mouth and closing it again, his hands fiddling with the buttons on his shirt. Just as he was about to ask Mike what the hell is going on, Mike seems to find the right words.

“I proposed to Rachel. I’m getting married.”

The words coming out of Mike’s mouth seemed to hold no meaning. Maybe because Harvey didn’t expect anything like this to happen, ever. He tried to understand what Mike was saying, repeating it over and over inside his head.

Proposed. Rachel. Married. Proposed. Rachel. Married. Proposed. Rachel. Married.

“Why..? What do you mean, Mike..? Wh-“ Harvey breathed, still trying to process what was happening. He wanted to scream, just be angry at Mike, fight and throw punches and hurt him. What the fuck was Mike trying to say?!

And then it hit him; Mike was leaving him.

A thousand thoughts rushed through Harvey’s head, and the room started to spin. He tried to focus on his breathing, telling himself to slowly inhale and slowly exhale. There was so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted to ask. He didn’t understand why Mike was leaving him, couldn’t understand how he had been so wrong this entire time.

“We were never meant to last, Harvey.” Mike continued, a sympathetic smile dancing on his lips. Harvey could not believe his ears.

“I’ve found someone who loves me, and I’m gonna marry her.” His voice was steady, emotionless. Not like the Mike he knew.

 _“But I love you, Mike!”_ Harvey wanted to scream, but the words got lost somewhere between his heart and his mouth.

“I’m moving on, Harvey. I-”

“You can’t- You can’t do this to me, Mike!” Harvey suddenly shouted, feeling so incredibly helpless. The other man still wouldn’t look at him. Instead, Mike glanced at the floor, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jeans.

“I’m sorry, I don’t-“ Harvey choked on his tears, not able to finish his sentence. He quickly covered his mouth with his right hand, trying to stop himself from losing it completely. Too many things were going through his mind. This wasn’t happening. He was going to wake up at any moment, wrapped in Mike’s arms, his face pressed against the younger man’s chest. His mind had to be playing a sick joke on him, because this couldn’t be real. Mike couldn’t be leaving him.

He saw Mike checking his watch for the second time, probably thinking about leaving. Harvey wanted to stop him, wanted to grab him and beg him to stay, but he couldn’t move.

“What am I without you?” he tried one last time, his voice barely a whisper. His fingertips grazed the front of Mike’s shirt, not even having the strength to grab a hold of him. Tears blurred his vision, but he saw Mike’s head turning in his direction.

And for the first time that evening Mike really looked at Harvey, his eyes cold, like Harvey had never seen them. Where had it gone wrong? When had he lost the Mike he fell in love with the first time he saw him? Was he ever going to be able to fix this?

Mike straightened his back and squared his shoulders, looked at him for a long moment, and finally answered.

“Better.”

Mike was out the door before Harvey realized it.

 

* * *

 

Harvey Specter believes in soulmates. Not in a stupid way, where a senior partner falls in love with his associate and lives happily ever after. That would be complete bullshit, and he knows it. No, finding and loving your soulmate isn’t easy. It is very challenging, and sometimes even soulmates don’t end up together.


End file.
